Homemade Cheez-Its: Chili and Cheddar Crackers

England may be missing many things, but apart from Lucky Charms (marshmallows for breakfast! What's  not to love?), Cheez-Its are perhaps my biggest US food craving. Try and find a similar cracker in the UK and you'll find yourself fruitlessly searching the cracker aisle. Nothing comes close to the "more-ish" taste of this bite of cheesy bliss. I thought, apart from those willing to smuggle me some from the land of the free, that I would have to go without the little morsels until I returned to the American lands.

Not so!

In my search for Super Bowl foods, I stumbled upon this recipe for chili and cheese crackers. "Zesty", the website promised me. "Addictive little lovelies," it promised. The recipe looked simple enough, why not?

Oh, I had no idea what joy I was setting myself up for. Out from my own oven emerged little puffs of cheesy deliciousness, close enough to the original Cheez-It that I had trouble not scarfing down the whole batch before guests arrived to try them for themselves.

Now, although my previous attempts at crackers had been fairly successful in the taste department, they lacked a certain, how do we say, "aesthetic flair". They looked like a crumbly mess. But after a bit of searching, to my accidental delight, I realized that the "holly" cookie cutter (previously used on this year's Christmas cake) was the perfect size and shape for my newfound Cheez-Its. And lo, unto us, a Cheez-It was born.

Now, the original recipe was dead-on. These things can go from delicious to burned char in the oven in no time at all. So watch these puppies. I found that 20 minutes is just about dead on in terms of timing, but of course, this will depend on your own oven. Just keep a wary eye on them, it'll be worth the effort.

Ingredients

1 cup all-purpose flour, plus more for the work surface (approx. 120 grams)
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon crushed red chili pepper flakes
4 tablespoons unsalted butter, chilled and diced (56.7 grams for those of us on metric)
8 ounces best-quality aged Cheddar cheese, grated (227 grams)
3 to 4 tablespoons cold water

Method
1. In a bowl, whisk together the flour, salt, and chilies. Transfer to the bowl of a food processor fitted with the blade attachment. Add the butter and pulse until the mixture resembles coarse meal. Add the cheese and pulse to combine.

2. Add 3 tablespoons of the water, 1 tablespoon at a time, pulsing until the mixture comes together in a ball. Pulse in an additional tablespoon of water if needed to get the dough to hold together. Wrap the dough in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least an hour.

3. Preheat the oven to 350°F (176°C).

4. Roll the dough out to a 1/8-inch thickness directly onto a baking sheet. (If the dough seems sticky, sprinkle the surface ever so lightly with flour.) Try to be as accurate as you can about the thickness of the dough, as the crackers won’t puff up nicely if the dough is too thin, nor will they be crispy enough if the dough is too thick. Using a cookie or biscuit cutter, a sharp knife, or a fluted pasta cutter, trim the dough into ½-inch diamonds (or any shape you prefer, such as holly).

5. Line 3 baking sheets with parchment paper. Place the dough on the parchment-lined sheets, giving them just enough room so that they are not touching. Bake until the crackers are deep golden brown and crunchy, 20 to 30 minutes, depending on the size of your crackers. Watch the crackers carefully as they go from almost done to a little too done quite quickly. 

6. Sprinkle the crackers with a light dusting of sea salt and some cayenne for an extra kick. Transfer the crackers to wire rack and let cool completely before serving. 

The crackers can stored in an airtight container for up to 1 week, although they are best the first couple of days.

Sage Parmesan Crackers

Everyone likes to have at least one "crowd pleaser" recipe in their collection. And if that recipe happens to be the easiest thing in the world? So much the better. These sage crackers were a spur of the moment decision a few years back, taken from Mark Bittman's gloriously helpful "101 Head Starts to the Day" (the NY Times has apparently been helming the culinary delights of Thanksgiving for years). I wasn't quite sure what to expect of them, as they were honestly too simple to be trusted. But when they disappeared out from under me, I realized I had a goldmine on my hands. Now they're trotted out every Thanksgiving. I've also taken to doubling the recipe, because of the thin crumbly nature of the crackers, they tend to yield a fairly small amount once cut into squares. They also may provoke moments of panic when you realize there's no physical way to "roll these out" as Bittman suggests. I've taken to literally patting them into shape on the baking sheet and cutting them afterwards. It saved me a mountain of frustrated rolling and allowed me to enjoy these little sage-y parcels even more.

Ingredients
1 cup flour
1 tsp salt
1/2 cup grated Parmesan
4 tbsp cold butter
1/4 cup cream
2 tbsp finely chopped sage.

Method

Preheat over to 400 F. 

Mix 1 cup flour, 1 teaspoon salt, 1/2 cup Parmesan and 4 tablespoons cold butter either in a large bowl or in a food processor. Add 1/4 cup cream and 1 tablespoon finely chopped sage.

When just combined, roll as thinly as possible (or simply pat into the baking sheet), score into squares, sprinkle with salt and bake at 400 degrees until golden.

Let cool, then break into pieces.

Sage Crackers

This recipe is almost embarrassingly easy. So embarrassing that when people demanded the recipe, I felt foolish when I couldn't reciting it from memory. Honestly, it's that easy.
The only problem is that Bittman only accounts for one pan to be made at a time.
Fool, clearly we will want at least 4 pans of this stuff.

Silly Bittman.  

Ingredients

1 cup flour

1 tsp salt

1/2 cup grated Parmesan

4 tbsp cold butter

1/4 cup cream

2 tbsp chopped sage (fresh if possible)

Method 

Pulse flour, salt, Parmesan and cold butter in a food processor (even this is optional, I just combined it in a large bowl).
Add cream and chopped sage.
When just combined, roll as thinly as possible, score into squares, sprinkle with salt and bake at 400 degrees until golden.
Let cool, then break into pieces.